This is the beginning of a new life. One journey has
ended and another one must start. But where does it start? When I am alone, I
sit and think about who I am, where I have come from and what I want to become.
I am still young and my life is still ahead of me, so what shall I do with the
world as my oyster and the wind at my back pushing me forward.
There has been a burning in my heart for weeks and the
desire to write but having no clue what to write about. It really sucks when
that happens so today I decided to just try it out and see what happens.
In the past few weeks I have learned a lot about myself,
things that I knew but didn’t really see or understand and after a pretty great
conversation last night, I realized that I need to start making things happen. It’s
funny though, because I know I have said it before, that I am the only one that
can make my life happen and I have been waiting for someone else to tell me
what to do. But the biggest reason I haven’t done what I really want to do is
because of fear. It’s amazing how fear can’t paralyze you and most people let
it. I don’t want to be paralyzed anymore. I want life to happen!
Since I was a child I always felt that there was more to
this life than what I was living. There is a big world out there but how do I
make more out of what I have been given. And how do I stop hiding behind the
brokenness that I was dealt in this life? Because if this is it, if there is
nothing more, then what is the point?
There are very few people I keep close to me because of
being hurt so many times. But the ones that I have kept close I wouldn’t change
for the world. And the new people that enter in some way have an impact on who
I have become.
Writing has always been a passion of mine. I use to write
poems about my feelings but now it has become blogs to express myself. I have
the desire to write a book about my life, not even really for people to know
and understand but more for my own sanity. To be able to look back and see
where I have come from and the woman I have become. And without being arrogant,
I feel like something went right. But it’s definitely not enough. There is
more, and I am on the hunt to find it! And when I figure it out and share it, it's because one
thing about me that has never changed, is allowing people to see my life and
the decisions I have made and if in any way, learn from them.
So on that note, I have decided to start in some way to
write my story. I don’t know how to start it or what it should entail but you have
to start somewhere before anything can ever become anything! So here goes
nothing!!!! And hopefully everything!
And all the support and love that I have been surrounded
by will only make this part of my journey even more worth it!
It starts with me, and then the rest will fall into
place!
So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not
return empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for
which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led by peace. IS 55:11-12
