Thursday, April 12, 2012


Have you ever done something and wished you could take it back? 
Or believed something to be more than it was just because you wanted it so badly?
I have done both so many times and it makes me wonder when I will ever learn and be better. 
It is said that there is so much in this life. I have been told that I have so much to offer. But to who? I feel like I have been given opportunities but nothing comes of it or something does but its not what I had imagined or hoped for. So then what?
I seem to go through these moments of confusion, where I feel completely lost and have no idea what I am doing, where I am going or what it is I want exactly. And in those moments I seem to forget who I am. And right now, I feel like I have no idea and it really sucks!

Sunday, April 8, 2012


Love, with another person. To feel, to be inspired by, to care for. To have forever.
I am a great partner. Longing only to make my other half feel like they matter and are the most important thing in the world to me. But I long for it in return. And the reason it hasn't worked in the past is because they haven't given it in return. I don't ask for much and it doesn't take much to make this girl happy. I don't need materialistic things. Just honesty, patience, time and love!!!
I don't think thats asking too much!



I feel as though I have lacked inspiration for some time. That my life has been stagnant and boring, with no purpose except just existing and, that is as false as it can get. So as that moment started to burn in me today that there is something for me to say, something for me to focus on, instead of ignoring it like I have been I decided to take a few minutes and actually focus on what inspires me. And to be honest, there are a lot of things that do. But what made it different today? Why is it standing out a little bit more than usual?

A certain song that I heard! A long, needed overdue conversation with my very best friend in the world, who I can go without talking to for months but it’s like we just talked yesterday and nothing is any different. So what inspired me today? She did! She is a fighter, an overcomer! Always finds the best in every situation but still lives in reality. She is truly the friend everyone could hope to find and I am lucky enough to have found her. And the promise that we made to grow old together will forever be the way it is!

She is an amazing mother to James (my godson) and amazing wife to JP and has given up everything for him to pursue his dream. She does this because she believes in him and in his happiness she finds her own. And in the selflessness that she shares with her family, things always fall into place for her. Usually in way she would have never dreamed.
I wish I had her strength.  And sometimes, just her!

Which leads me to my next topic…. She inspires me, music inspires me, poetry inspires me. Something that has feeling and passion and can make you cry or even motivate you to do something you didn’t think you could do. It might be that one song that the second you hear it, a fire is lit under your ass and you do something you didn’t think you could. Or words of wisdom from a friend, reminding you of who you really are and it was the exact time and place that you needed to hear it and she didn’t even know it.

I would say that music inspires me the most to feel, to love, to give all of myself.  And sometimes I wish that there was a person out there that felt the same way and that our paths would cross and that the passion and inspiration would be mutual. And then maybe I wouldn’t feel crazy.  But it’s not always music, sometimes it’s a quote. And there is one in particular that always stands out from an amazing woman who has had many wise words in her lifetime!  

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou

 Is it not fitting, to be remembered for how you made someone feel?

I want to be remembered as a person who loved everyone and made them feel amazing in a low moment. That when they needed encouragement, I was there to give it to them. That is the mark that I hope to leave behind. Because if there is one thing that I carry in my heart, it is brokenness for the ones I care about who don’t see who they really are. How amazing they are, how gifted they are and if I don’t tell them that who will? And then I am just as bad as a person who puts them down or ignores them.  And they deserve more than that! Everyone does.

I feel like I see things for a reason. I read and understand most people for a reason and to let them just fade is unfair to the ones that my eyes have been open to.
So this is my inspiration for today. And for tomorrow. And the next day!

You are an amazing person.  Who has been set a part for a specific reason and if you don’t see it, I will make sure to take a minute to tell you that because you deserve to hear it!