Monday, September 26, 2011

There are no words

A week ago I walk into my friends house and he says, I am thinking about quitting my job and moving to Denver. Then two days later, he quits his job, starts freaking out and is now moving to Denver!
There were a lot of thoughts going through my mind at the time, mostly selfish thoughts.  What about me? How do I fit into this factor? But as quickly as they came, I buried them away. Who am I to ask these questions and where is that coming from? But we still canned pickles and green beans (which are amazing) and had a wonderful time. And that of course makes it even harder. I always have a great time with this guy. I really don’t think he has a clue as to how wonderful he is. That’s what makes me so sad. What I will miss the most, that even though I tell him his is sweet and I enjoy his company, that he makes me laugh, cooks me dinner, makes sure that I am content in whatever we do.  I don’t think he really sees what I see. He really needs to see how great he is.
This isn’t even the real point to my little story. The point is….. He is an amazing guy and has opened my eyes to something bigger. More to life that I think I needed to see through someone else taking a leap!
For those that know me (really know me), they know that I am a dreamer. That I always feel that there is more out there then what I have received or maybe even taken. And with that there is an unsettling part of me that knows something needs to change or happen.  But for some reason I can’t seem to take the leap that allows for those dreams to come true. And it’s funny because I was sitting on my couch watching a romantic movie thinking, how the hell will anyone find me here? How the hell will I find anyone if I am sitting on my couch watching movies about bullshit that I have never seen happen in real life but want so badly to happen in mine. The only way that can be is if I make it happen. And how do I make it happen? Obviously by seizing the day! Seeing an opportunity and actually taking it. Or maybe even taking such a big risk in hopes that I find exactly what I am looking for.  What is there to lose? I am really not gaining anything but sitting around and waiting for life to happen because in all honestly it never will! Maybe this is something I should know already or maybe not. But the true test isn’t in finding out the truth; it’s actually what you do with it when you have it.
And so the journey begins and I have Seth to thank for that. He has in some way opened my eyes to the fact that I need to listen to those little thoughts that I have inside of me. I need to actually be scared of something new and exciting because life should be full of risks.  And I am pretty sure he doesn’t even realize what he has done!

 Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero:
"Seize the Day, putting as little trust as possible in the future"

And to be quite honest, tomorrow is never promised. And I know that I don’t want to have any more regrets!

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